At the Adventist Society for Religious Studies annual meeting that took place on November 15-17 in San Diego, I presented the following paper during the session entitled “Adventism and Community: Sociocultural Dimensions.” ASRS maintains a web presence at http://www.lasierra.edu/sor/asrs.

Gilmore Girls, a popular Tuesday night dramedy on the CW channel that concluded its run last spring after seven successful seasons, features an Adventist mother-daughter duo as key supporting characters to another mother-daughter duo, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, the title characters. Mrs. Young-Ja Kim and her daughter, Lane, are Korean Seventh-day Adventists who live in a fictional town called Stars Hollow in Connecticut.

Mrs. Kim and Lane are part of a quirky mix that makes up the cast of this dramedy. Mrs. Kim is a first-generation immigrant antique store owner whose über-fundamentalist Adventist religiosity provides fodder for comic relief but social and emotional pain for her daughter. Lane is the best friend of Rory Gilmore and an aspiring drummer who forms her own rock band. She loves boys, junk food, and movies—all banned by her mom. She finds herself torn between the rigid religious world ruled by her mother and the fun, “normal” world inhabited by Rory and the townsfolk.

Fairly Odd People

From the first episode that premiered in fall 2000, the Kims are portrayed as being different and isolated from the rest of the people of Stars Hollow—stranger than other odd characters that populate the town. Contributing also to the sense of otherness are their immigrant characteristics.

The peculiarity of the Kims’ religiosity is highlighted in the comically rigid observance of the lifestyle regulations of Adventism, enforced unapologetically by Mrs. Kim. Complementing her high strict standards is her no-nonsense, outright rude demeanor.

Meet Mrs. Kim as she’s introduced in the first episode. She greets Lane and Rory after school: “Go upstairs. . . . I have muffins—no dairy, no sugar, no wheat. You have to soak them in tea to make them soft enough to bite but they’re very healthy. So, how was school? None of the girls get pregnant, drop out?” (season 1, episode 1). When she sees Lane eating a Snickers bar, she snatches it away and pronounces solemn judgment upon the half-eaten snack: “That is chocolate covered death.” (season 1, episode 4). When Lane gets her a perfume as a present, she calls it “smelly sex juice . . . to lure boys with” and sends Lane to Bible camp all summer (season 1, episode 10).

When it is time for Lane to apply to colleges, she can only apply to conservative Christian colleges, including a host of Adventist colleges where boys and girls cannot sit together, dancing, gum chewing and bowling are banned (season 3, episode 4), and astronomy is not taught since “that would imply that the universe is old” (season 4, episode 11). In the end, Lane enrolls at an Adventist college in Hartford, Connecticut (season 3, episode 20).

Adventism, as portrayed in Gilmore Girls, is a very strict religious group that is out of touch with the mores and practices of contemporary society. The peculiarities of Adventists’ lifestyle standards set them apart from society so much that they lead isolated lives of self-righteousness.

Lane’s World

While Mrs. Kim seems quite content with living in a self-contained world with minimal meaningful interactions with the larger world, Lane lives in high tension between the two worlds. From the first season, the viewers discover that Lane is essentially living two lives with the evidence of the outside world—her huge CD collection—tucked carefully beneath the floor and in hidden compartments of her closet (season 1, episode 14).

However, frustration mounts to a breaking point where she decides to take a stand against her mother. “I’ve spent my whole life compromising and being the good little girl and not doing what I want,” she announces. “Or doing what I want and hiding it and feeling guilty for doing it, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it” (season 3, episode 4). Finally, as she is about graduate from high school, Lane gets drunk at a party where her band performed and calls her mother to tell her everything, ending her call with: “The charade is over” (season 3, episode 19).

This plotline that traces Lane’s maturation toward self-determination shows clearly the show’s bias against strong sectarianism that is seen as restrictive and exclusionary. As the story continues, each of Lane’s decisions to move away from her Adventist roots is celebrated. That move is a path toward a more normal, desirable existence. And Mrs. Kim has no choice but to go along and accept her daughter’s decisions.

The Education of Mrs. Kim

The growth that Mrs. Kim experiences from the intolerant, hyper-sectarian attitude to a more tolerant, charitable one is an important plotline for Gilmore Girls.

When Mrs. Kim discovers that Lane is dating her fellow band member, Zach, she assumes that they are sleeping together and lashes out at Zach: “You! You dirty, filthy devil boy! You will pay for this. You will burn in hellfire for this! You will swim in the sludge with Satan’s hell-dogs, and feed them your innards for eternity! . . . You put your hands on Lane! My Lane! And before God, I swear that you will be punished. Because that is what happens to all swine that walk up tall!” (season 5, episode 8). If Mrs. Kim had things her way, Lane would be dating someone like Young Chui who “works for his father who builds Adventist hospitals,” “will go to college at Loma Linda University,” and “will return to work for his father building Adventist hospitals” (season 3, episode 12). But gradually the relationship between the mother and the daughter improves, as Mrs. Kim comes to grudgingly accept, at least tolerate, Zach.

Mrs. Kim’s growth toward tolerance is accompanied by the introduction of minor characters who are religious and quite normal. The Adventist pastor and the rabbi make occasional appearances from season 3, and they both are tolerant, intelligent and cultured characters who share the same building for services at different times, like to crack self-deprecating jokes, and enjoy good movies. Another Adventist pastor character makes an appearance in the show during Lane’s band’s tour of East Coast Adventist churches. At the end of one such concert in Massachusetts, Zach thanks the pastor for “letting us rock the gym here at Whitfield Seventh-day Adventist church.” Then, Gil the lead singer says, “Got into some very heavy talk with the pastor about my soul and Ecclesiastes and stuff after sound check, and I gotta say, if Christ comes back in fulfillment of prophecy, he’s going to be hooking up with you first, dude, ‘cause you are awesome!” (season 6, episode 3).

The education of Mrs. Kim reaches its climax in the last two seasons as she comes around to accept Lane for who she is and what she chooses to do. After Lane has broken up with Zach and spent six weeks back at home grieving the loss of the relationship, Mrs. Kim sits Lane down, closes all the blinds and curtains, and brings out alcohol and two shot glasses. She pours a shot into each glass and says, “It’s been six weeks since you come home. You have grieved, and now we move on.” All Lane can say at this sudden revelation of a new, “cool” side of her mother is: “Whoa!” (season 6, episode 11).

Few episodes later, Zach and Lane patch things up, and, in fact, decide to get married (season 6, episode 16). In the next episode, Zach nervously approaches Mrs. Kim alone to break the news. As he announces his intentions, he produces a recommendation letter from his employer and a bank statement. But all Mrs. Kim wants to see is a demo of Zach’s music, since his stated goal is life is to be a musician. It’s rock music, but she seems unperturbed—and even gives him some tips for alternate endings to one of his songs.

On the wedding day, Mrs. Kim is ever the out-of-touch fundamentalist who warns Lane just before the ceremony that there are “sacrifices” that she will have to make in marriage such as kissing and having to “do it” with Zach that night. Then, she adds, “Hopefully, if you’re lucky like me, you’ll only have to do it once.”

After the wedding and all the Adventist guests have quickly left, she begins to head home, knowing that the wedding reception in the park in the middle of the town is only beginning—replete with alcohol (that had been kept hidden from her and her guests’ view) and dancing. “I’m going to wear earplugs tonight,” she says. “The good ones that expand in your ear so I won’t be able to hear anything that might be going on out in the street at all hours of the night” (season 6, episode 19).

Mrs. Kim’s last appearance in Gilmore Girls is in the 16th episode of the last season. She’s in the midst of another conflict with now-pregnant Lane—this time over what the expectant mother should eat and how the grandchildren are to be reared. Mrs. Kim is unwilling to go to the baby shower over these issues. When Lorelai visits her to mediate, the grandmother-to-be expresses what she expects of her daughter and grandchildren: “attendance at weekly church services, Bible study twice a week, Adventist summer camp, no unclean meats or hydrogenated oils, Christmas will be celebrated with no gifts . . . .” “It is not reasonable,” she continues, “for Lane to think that she will raise my grandchildren as heathens while I stand by and do nothing.” But Lorelai reasons with her, “But Lane is not rejecting you. You guys are just different . . . . There are times when you have to put those differences aside.” Then, the irreligious and at-time profane Lorelai goes biblical on Mrs. Kim: “Like, you know Joseph, from the Bible, and how his brothers got all mad at him about that dreamcoat. Yes, and so they sold him into slavery. . . . The point is there are fights you can recover from and fights you can’t, and not going to your daughter’s baby shower—I mean, I know it’s hard, but I don’t want you to draw a line in the sand now that you can’t cross later.” Thanks to Lorelai, Mrs. Kim and Lane reconcile yet again, and that is the last time viewers see Mrs. Kim on the show (season 7, episode 16).

From the show’s perspective, the education of Mrs. Kim is not yet complete. She is still isolated within the double walls of the Adventist and Korean immigrant subcultures. After seven years, the strength of her convictions and the degree of her social isolation have not changed much. But she has come a long way toward showing tolerance toward others and learning social graces even on matters that are religiously important to her. Interestingly, her own internal inconsistencies such as her keeping of alcohol and a Buddha statue show her to be more human and endearing. In the end, there is a certain amount of respect that the show gives to Mrs. Kim as long as she does not treat others badly or force her beliefs on others. Only when Mrs. Kim is finally able to hold her beliefs and practices without being rash or judgmental toward others would her education be complete.

The God of Relationships

The underlying message to Adventism and other fundamentalist groups in the show’s portrayal of Mrs. Kim is clear. It calls on Adventists to be more tolerant and accepting toward those they disagree with, be more engaged in civic life, have a sense of humor about themselves, hold their beliefs a little loosely, and be open and willing to learn from others, even those outside the community. Adventists who exhibit early Mrs. Kim characteristics risk being out of touch with reality and losing their important relationships. Religion that does not enhance human relationships is not worth keeping; it becomes a charade.

In the end, one could say that Gilmore Girls props up the entire town of Stars Hollow as an alternative to religious community. Very few practice religion, and not many adhere to traditional religious values. However, the townsfolk of Starts Hollow all serve a common god—that of human relationships. Relationship is the absolute value that rules over all.

In such a world, Adventism has value only as it contributes to the overall relationship architecture. Its truth claims are tolerated only to the extent that they are held and expressed in less-than-absolutist terms in relation to the general population. The Adventist sub-community has a positive value to the larger society only as it serves to enhance the relationships of its members with the larger society.

The education of Mrs. Kim is overall a healthy one for her. But what about Lane’s move away from Adventism in pursuit of her dreams and her man? And what about the supreme value that is given to human relationships? In that world—in our world, how open and tolerant and postmodern should Adventism and its adherents get? Beneath the imperfect caricature of the Adventist community that Gilmore Girls presents lies a profound challenge for Adventism today.